the golden life

On occasion, my hearing just isn't what it should be. I miss words and parts of conversations intended for my audience. No worries though, my mind quickly springs into action, filling in the blanks with what it thought it heard, which is usually something wacky and not at all like what was said. At work, such occurrences provide the occasional amusement and entertainment for students. Not only is the challenge before me to understand what students are saying though accents, poor grammar, and limited vocabulary (at least in the earlier stages of learning a foriegn language) but a number of kids are just so quiet in their responses that my mouth quickly blurts back some ridiculous sentence that it sounded like they were saying when indeed, I know they were not. Such a response is primarily for the sake of comedy but has helped a few times in lightening situations and drawing kids out of their shells.

With adults and peers, however, things can be a bit more tricky. For some reason, in these situations my natural reaction is to try to fake that I've heard and understood all that has been said, and typically a few seconds or minutes later, my brain catches up and pieces together what was actually said or asked. And then . . . there are those rare times when it doesn't. Times when my foolish ears, even after much repeating, can't properly hear or make sense of what is being said. Such is the case with "The Golden Life."

Once upon a time in a country far, far away, I grew up spending a week of my summer vacations attending or assisting my church's vbs program. At that point in time, my church offered classes for youth through Jr. high age and it was in such a class, full of friends and peers, that I was forced to face the fact that somewhere between my ears and brain I couldn't comprehend what was being said.

I recall that some other obligation prevented me from attending on Monday, the first day of the program. On Tuesday, I was there and glad to be spending some extra time during summer break with my out-of-town friends. The youth pastor was in charge of us older lot and probably after playing a game or doing some sort of fun activity, we had gathered, seated in a circle for the lesson. Whether things began this way or eased into it, I'm not sure, but at some point the youth pastor asked for everyone to share their goal in life. Simple, right? Except for what I heard was that we were asked to share our golden life. What the heck was a golden life? Ok, I know I missed the first day, but could I be out of the loop that fast?? Going around the circle, it looked as though I'd be one of the last to answer - whew! Surely I'd catch on by my turn.

Sadly, sadly, no. When the responses reached mid-circle, I could feel the panic beginning to settle in. I was already the out-of-town kid at that church, I certainly didn't want to stand out any more or look like an idiot, but I still had no idea what was expected of me. Without drawing attention, I tried to extract an answer from my friends sitting nearest me. Golden life, golden life! - it's all I heard! Finally, it got to be my turn and I gave in. I could no longer carry on the charade - I didn't have a clue what was going on, even after sitting through about 15 teens sharing their goals in life! What is this golden life? What if I don't have one? What if I don't want one? Oh, the pressure! I'm sorry but I wasn't here yesterday! Who knew vbs could be so hard?

It didn't help that people's answers ranged from the serious - to become a dr., to the humorous - to meet an albino person. I had to cave and ask for an explanation of this mysterious golden life. I must say, even after knowing I was to share one for my goals in life, my panic did not quickly subside. I don't know why but I've never really been one to set many goals, at least not in the conscience sense of formulating them and verbalizing them, though there are certainly things I would like to achieve and accomplish in life. And so, I needed to be skipped and given even more time to think. What I came up with was traveling. I'm pleased to say it's a goal I've been meeting which places me in the same success circle as the gal who went on to become a dr. and the friend who finally got to see her albino.

After my first trip abroad a summer or two later, my goal to travel evolved and expanded into a goal to also one day fill my passport and need more pages added. This very week, I have at long last seen that goal come into fruition. I know it's silly, but sometimes silly is all I've got or at least what I need the most in a life that's already so full of the serious. And so, I've met my goals from Jr. high. Life would seem complete. I can now die a happy woman. Or, I suppose I could always set a few new goals. A new golden life? Here comes that panic rising.