Alien Abduction

That's alien as in foreigner, and foreigner as in me. This afternoon, I learned what may happen when I try to move home from Taiwan.

Me: (to a class of 4th - 6th graders that I teach daily) Next week I will tell you when you will give your next speech.
Rosa: How about we give the speech next year, like next October 6.
Me: Oh, okay, so you want to say your speech for your new teacher next year.

Huh? - At this, the students looked at one another and me befuddled as in, why would I ever want to leave Taiwan?

Class: (random shouting) No! You can't go! You have to teach us! We love you!
Me: Yeah, right! That's why you always complain, don't listen, and don't finish your work.
Wayne: But what will you do? If you leave, you will have no money?
Me: I will get a new job in the U.S. I can't stay here forever. One day I will leave, but not right now. I will still be your teacher this year at least.

Wayne: If you try to move home, we will kidnap you and take you to a garage and tie you to a chair and we will come everyday and you will have to teach us English.
Me: Okay then, I won't tell you when I'm leaving.
Sam: That's okay. You can leave tomorrow. You can leave today.
Me: Thanks Sam.
Ruby: No! Don't listen to Sam. In his heart, he is really crying.
Sam: No!
Kelly: Sam, your heart is metal.

So, if it's around the time for me to return from Taiwan and I suddenly go missing, kindly alert the authorities to start tracking the comings and goings of a boy named Wayne.