unraveling from both ends (Act 3, I suppose)

So in case you've been wondering, no, I'm not a cold hearted jerk, at least, I don't think so. On the contrary, I care very much for and about people. Though guarded in feelings and expression, there are at least 2 truth based principles I subscribe to about love.

1. Love is a choice.

Though it's also the Bible's greatest commandment to love God and love others, it's still something we must choose to do or not do. There is a choice to give love and to accept love that is given. Additionally, not only do we choose to love, but we are chosen to be loved.

Some people are easily likable and easy to love. With others, it's not so easy. I can think of at least one person whom, for most of my life, I've not had an ideal relationship with. We're very different from one another and consequently have had difficulty getting along most of our lives. Yet, in spite of our differences and hurt this person has caused me and others, I still love him, even when finding it difficult to even like him. It's the idea that "I don't love you because you're lovable, I love you because despite everything, I still choose to love you." With choosing to love comes an ongoing commitment and effort.

Turning the tables on myself, in my own pride, selfishness, and ignorance, I've both intentionally and unintentionally hurt people who love me. Forgiveness, healing, and restoration take time, but the idea that someone is willing and able to do this for me astounds me sometimes, especially when knowing that it's possible, if not likely, that I'm going to fail again and hurt them once more.

How amazing is it then that God not only loves us but chooses us. None of our faults are hidden from Him yet great is His love for us. Yet again, a choice, an action is required on our part to accept and receive this love.

2. Love is costly.

I recently bought a new computer that I'm now beginning to love. It has taken some getting used to though. There were the initial reservations and hesitation because of the cost involved, followed but the awkward transition period of learning to adjust and get familiar and comfortable with the changes, a bit scary and exciting at the same time. Though the computer was expensive and required an openness to change on my part, I'm still glad I made the choice to purchase it.

As a kid, getting up the nerve to ask my dad to buy something for me wasn't always easy. "What is it and how much is it going to cost me?" was the common response. Perhaps loving things is sometimes easier than loving people because the cost is more easily defined. With loving others, "What's it gonna cost me?" holds a greater unknown variable. In the end, love might cost you everything, including your life.

Throughout history, people have given up their life for love - love of country, ideas, God/gods, and people. Regardless of religious faith or lack thereof, giving up one's life for another is considered one of the greatest demonstrations of human love.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

The difference between human love and God's Divine love, however, is that God lays down His life for His enemies (Romans 5:10). Not that humans aren't capable of giving their life for their enemies, but our ability to do so is due to God's redemptive nature.

Jumping heart first into things can land us in trouble when we've not taken time to consider the cost. However, I'm so grateful that when Christ considered the cost, I was still worth it. I've not only been chosen to be loved but I've been purchased for the most costly of prices, Christ's blood. And again, I know I'm going to fail and hurt even the one who has given the most to love me. And again, I'm going to be amazed that forgiveness, healing, and restoration can be offered be. But again, I'm so grateful that they are.

Despite my hang-ups and apathy towards love, I at least have an easier time accepting God's love than man's. I suppose it's because in faith I trust that God has what's best for me in mind. It's not what's easiest, it's not always what I'll like or want, but I trust it's what's best. What human can you hold accountable for doing that? Secondly, I trust that God's love is perfect. As humans, we're fallible. Our version of love is tainted and knowing this makes it all the more difficult to accept sometimes, even from family or friends.

I was reading some notes by Oswald Chambers this weekend and came upon something that felt particularly familiar. He stated:

Self-regarding love is part weakness, part selfishness, and part romance; and it is this self-regarding love that so counterfeits the higher love that, to the majority, love is too often looked upon as a weak sentimental thing.

I think that's where I'm usually stuck in my view of love. It's nice to have an opportunity to be reminded of the different view God's love provides.