thoughts I should not have to entertain on a Saturday morning

sometimes not all the world shares your joy
sometimes happiness should be kept to yourself
sometimes you should not hire a brass emsemble to play fanfare at 8am to alert the neighborhood you're getting married today
sometimes you should request Here Comes the Bride not be followed by Jingle Bells
sometimes the fanfare should not be followed by 8:30am firecrackers that once again set off the car alarm that had been blaring from midnight until 4am
sometimes others would like to sleep
sometimes i consider not living in a city
sometimes is a day like today

While You Were Sleeping

I had a great Christmas this year, quite possibly my favorite out of ones spent in Taiwan. Christmas Eve several friends joined me at my place for movie watching and goodie consumption. Everyone stayed the night and we had brunch and gift opening in the morning. We were all up very late but my bedtime looked something like 7am Christmas Day as I was up after everyone else to wrap gifts. It was okay though - I got to take in a Christmas movie while wrapping near the warm glow of the Christmas tree.

I was anticipating a bit more than 2 hours of sleep before the Christmas morning activities got underway, but that's about all the more I was allowed, as one guest, whom I shall name E, snuck into my room and began to blast Christmas music on my computer somewhere around 9am. Becky, who was camping out in my room, promptly turned down the blast, but not long after the volume found its way up again.

I was up and off to the kitchen to get brunch rolling. Rick got his mom's recipe for homemade cinnamon rolls and I was assisting with the experiment. Despite getting the dough made the night before, the rolls weren't actually ready to eat until somewhere around 2 or 3pm, but still yummy and we had fun making them. While in the kitchen, E declares "I got a new Christmas cd!" referring to the one still being played in my room. Yes, we can all hear, thanks. Hmm, I hope it's not the same as the one I got her for Christmas. Afterwards I walked into the living room and discovered the open wrap from one of my gifts to E. No, it wasn't the same as the cd I planned to give her - it was the cd I was giving her!

Me: "You opened your gift?! Without us?"
E: "Yes! I've been awake since about 6:30am. I can't wait all day for you guys to wake up!"
Me: "But I just went to bed then. You robbed me the joy of getting to see you open your gift. Just wait and see if you get anything from me next year. I want my Christmas back!"

This was all in playful fun, I assure you. However, I'd soon discover that opening gifts was not the only thing she did while we were sleeping. She also snuck in my room and took a picture! Ahh! Man, I need to be more selective in choosing my friends from now on. After a visit to her place 2 weeks ago and the ever so flattering pictures of friends and I that surfaced afterwards, I should have known better than to sleep with my door unlocked! Silly me. Must have been a sleep deprived lapse in judgement. The photos have not yet appeared on her flickr account, but I'm assured they will. Nice.

I'll be home for Christmas

This year I got to go home for Christmas, in a manner of speaking. Thanks to the wonderful world of modern technology, my family and I linked via webcams and speaker phones so I could join them for gift opening on Christmas morning. It was great to feel part of Christmas with my family, if only in a small way.

I got to witness dad playing with the new kayaking paddle my bros and I got him. I was beginning to think the recliner in serious jeopardy of being rowed away. Then there was Ross's dog frolicking through the gift wrap and trying to intercept presents being passed. It is usually restricted to the basement but was getting time off for good behavior. I was excited to see my mom open her gift from me - an ipod shuffle, which was followed by looks of bewilderment and comments of "neat - but what is it?" She was fascinated by its petite form, as was my gram later in the morning. Last but not least was my youngest bro who was content to stay out of sight except for modeling new clothes he had received.

Our time together was a nice distraction from that fact that I sat thousands of miles away where Christmas day was drawing to a close and the promise of work in the morning loomed. All in all, a great holiday was had - a house filled with friends plus a visit home. It was nice while it lasted.

Wind Shadow

Taking a break from the hustle and bustle, I got to do one of my favorite things there is to do in Taiwan - see a performance by my favorite contemporary dance company, Cloud Gate. The group, which is based in Taipei, only comes to town about twice a year. Tonight's show was part of the World Premiere season of Wind Shadow, the latest creation of choreographic genius Lin Hwai-Min. As with past performances, it did not disappoint.

Cloud Gate Dance Theater is not your typical dance group. Dancers are trained in not only ballet but tai chi, martial arts, Chinese Opera movement, and modern dance. These arts and disciplines are masterfully intertwined to create a spectacular show.

Wind Shadow, the latest creation, was a collaboration of Cloud Gate choreographer Lin Hwai Min and contemporary artist Cai Guo-Qiang. In addition to his work with Cloud Gate, Lin has an incredible amount of artistic achievements to his credits. Cai had even asked Lin to join his creative team for the proposal of the opening and closing ceremonies of the 2008 Olympic Games, but stating an already full schedule, he declined. However, from a mutual interest to work together on a project, Wind Shadow was born.

Cloud Gate tours internationally so if you ever find them coming to a city near you, I strongly urge you to check them out. They're amazing!

the day

Today was a beautiful day. Sun streamed golden through a cloudless sky as I traveled from lesson to lesson this morning. Oh, the wonderful combination of warm sun and cool air that delights and bewilders the senses.

Today was a busy day. Teaching followed by more teaching, and then the ballet - all very rewarding in their own way. A few intermittent errands led me to a chance finding of an excellent gift and I found myself getting excited for Christmas morning for the first time all season.

Today was a good day. My first breaths in the warm sunshine made me happy to be alive and content in being exactly where I was. Between waking and sleeping, the day was filled with simple joys and pleasant things. The day closed well - dinner with a close friend and an endless stream of good conversation.

the race is on

I'm blitzing again. I have several posts that I began but never got back to finish, which is not only characteristic of my blogging this week but most other things as well. An invasion of the body snatchers must have taken place because I'm really not myself this holiday season. I'm incredibly far behind in just about everything and my closest friends are delighting in the fact that for once, they're the ones on top of things. The real me would most likely be freaking out right about now knowing how much there is to get done this late in the game, yet I'm oddly blithe about it all.
Included in my bountiful package of goodies from home was a multi-disc set of Christmas tunes, Sufjan style. They've since been on constant rotation in the cd player in an effort to get me in the holiday frame of mind. I'm about a month behind in getting into the Christmas swing of things. Never before have I found myself without the tree up, some cards sent, gifts mostly purchased, or some cookies baked within so few days of Christmas. It's getting down to the wire, and yet I'm strangely indifferent to it all this year. Is the artificialness of Christmas in Taiwan finally getting to me on this, my 5th Christmas on the island? I'm hoping it's nothing more than part of the rut I've found myself in lately and I hope to find myself emerging soon while there's still Christmas spirit left to catch.

the moral dilemma surrounding eggnog

Sometimes I think my ability to make eggnog is what keeps me employed, or at least keeps me in the good graces of my boss. A few Christmases ago he discovered the concoction I supplied for a co-worker's Christmas party and it has been his request for Christmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays, Halloweens, and BBQs since. I, however, only provide it as a gift twice a year and as it is once again Christmas, it's once time to whip up a batch. Since I'll be seeing my boss several times over the holiday weekend, I inquired as to when he'd like to recieve it and this was the text message response I got:

if i get it today (Friday) and finish it, can I have more on sat. and mon.? otherwise, i'll wait for sat., but if i share, will i get more? moral dilemma!

So there you have it, the moral dilemma surrounding eggnog. I would think it to at least be to spike or not to spike, but apparently it's to share or not to share. Oh, what some will do for eggnog!

mystery shopping

In the absence of your native language, sometimes the simplest tasks become the most difficult. A quick trip to the baking supply store to pick up a few cookie making essentials required a bit more guesswork than I'd otherwise like to put into food buying. Despite the store's plethora of imported goods, a number of the more basic essentials are packaged in clear bags or white boxes and containers with labels printed in only Chinese. On one or two prior occasions, I could have been spotted trying to feel the difference between cornstarch and cream of tartar through their plastic packaging. Some labels contain chemical formulas for their contents, which have proved surprisingly helpful. Who said chemistry wouldn't be useful in everyday life?

Today, however, I had to dabble in a bit of mystery shopping. All I needed was shortening and the store used to sell containers of imported stuff, but they were gone. Instead were clear tubs, white tubs, and double lined bags resembling what I was there for. The stuff in the white container was a far better deal, but do I trust what I cannot see? Short on time, I did not want to make another trip to the store and decided it would come down to the tub or bag. The packages had a few similar characters so I at least knew they had something in common, though their differences I was less sure of. I decided that when in doubt, buy both and call mom. What we deducted was that the tub was lard - ha ha - tub of lard. Sorry, I find myself easily amused today. The other item was vegetable shortening. So, the guesswork paid off and I'll be stocked for baking needs well into the new year and perhaps beyond.

brown mixture and belly dancing

What a full day it's been already and it's not even time for work yet. The day started far earlier that I would have liked with a dr. appointment across town. I've been having problems with my tonsils for over a month and after several visits to the local family dr., I finally decided to simply go see a specialist. I say simply because it is actually fairly easy to get seen by a specialist here. Most can be visited without a referral and for many of them, one can just show up and get seen or make an appointment for the same day. Additionally, an average visit costs about the same as a visit to the family doc, which is fairly cheap with the national health care.

The visit went well, probably the most pleasant of any dr. visit in Taiwan thus far, though the problem doesn't sound like it's one that can be resolved shy of having my tonsils removed. Nonetheless, I left with a prescription of at least 6 pills. Load 'em up and send 'em out seems to be an all too often approach to medicine here, though I actually do have confidence in the ability of the dr. I have just seen. The practice of medicine in Taiwan has been one of the more difficult areas of life in Taiwan for me to get used to and figure out, but I'm sure it would be likely to be that way just about anywhere abroad. Still, there are times when I can't help but get the feeling like the medical practice here really is people "practicing" medicine on me, as in trial-and-error guinea pig testing. With time and experience, I've come to lose confidence in Taiwanese doctors, though again, I think the dr. I saw today was one of those rare gems.

As he explained my daily diet of meds for the next week, there appeared on the list the mysterious and elusive brown mixture. I have heard of this "brown mixture" and even seen the thick, syrupy concoction prescribed to an old roommate or two. I suppose after a few years here, one is bound to be the recipient of it. It's something like a Robitussin, but I'm easily amused by how funny it sounds - brown mixture. I was fortunate to receive it in tablet form but the unpleasant taste still has a way of sneaking in.

Since I was out of the doctor's before 9am I decided to complete a few errands and even get in a bit of last minute Christmas shopping done before work. What an unusual and enlightening experience shopping can be sometimes. I can now say that should I find myself in the position of being asked where one might find a belly dancing outfit in town, I can provide an answer - a good thing to keep in mind should you ever find yourself visiting southern Taiwan without yours.

Christmas comes with a song and a dance

The weeks leading up to Christmas have become a time for us to teach and coerce our students to sing Christmas songs. Not only is singing required but dancing as well. In fact, I'm starting to notice that we don't teach our students a single song that isn't in some way choreographed, the doings of my boss. And so, each year the Christmas season arrives at my school with a song and a dance. The older students are counting the days til Dec. 26, but the younger kids are usually excited or at least amused by the sight of the teachers acting a fool.

This year the teachers at my school are actually catching a break from the holiday madness that generally surrounds this time of year. Last year my school's Christmas party was a big to-do open to the public and featuring a musical performed by our Bible class students and performances by a group from Taipei. This year, however, we're holding a low-key food centered celebration that will include turkey. The downside - it's being held on Christmas because it's just another school/work day in Taiwan. Though I did manage to get the day off of work, I plan to drop by for the party to hang out with my students. Yes, a bit sad, I know. I'm not married to my job, really.

Also this Christmas my co-workers and I have been relinquished from our duty of performing a Christmas show at an area elementary school. This has been done for the past several years as a ministry outreach that many parents and educators view as free English exposure. Last year our Christmas song and dance routines, as well as a puppet show, were performed for nearly 2,000 kids in a chilly school courtyard over the course of several mornings. I think by the end I was the only one with any amount of voice left (due to performing in the cold and being sick) and therefore got stuck doing the voices for about 4 different puppets. Boy did things get a little interesting trying to keep character voices and accents straight, as well as the confusion of holding conversations with myself. Thankfully I still had only one puppet to man.

A Christmas memory from that event that I had totally forgotten about until a reminder today was the dvd that was made and distributed to the school's classes. This was done to familiarize students with the songs (and dancing - can't forget the dancing) prior to our visit. It was so funny to be recognized from the dvds and thus greeted by students with expressions of "hey, I know you." We were instant celebrities further immortalized by several photos that were taken. Following the shows we had some time to interact with the kids and a friend's photo was taken while using her monkey puppet to talk to students. The photo has been used on the cover of that elementary school's student communication books for the past 2 semesters.

In other song and dance news, a Taiwanese co-worker roped me into a bit of early morning tap dancing last week. I danced for several years as a child but not since. It was a fun workout. She taught me the steps to a Christmas number for a show she's in this season. Following our morning session she came up with the brilliant idea that we should perform a number together next year if the school returns to its annual Christmas shows. Umm, no. I tried to distract her from the idea, but apparently my efforts were in vein. When I went to work later that day, one of my older students told me she couldn't wait for next Christmas to see said co-worker and me performing a dance show. Oh, brother! Now pondering if I should resolve to move before next Christmas rolls around.

good n' plenty

Good things come in small packages, but sometimes they come in great big ones too! I got a long awaited package from home today. It was chock-full of good stuff, so much so that after 2 hours of sorting and reveling, I still haven't explored all its contents.
The story starts about 5 months ago when I was home on summer break. I packed a box of stuff that wouldn't fit in the suitcases to get shipped at a later time. Included were several Christmas gifts for people here. Over the months the box got opened and repacked several times by the folks at home and more stuff added, including Christmas gifts for me - woohoo! In addition to the items I packed were tons of unexpected goodies. Receiving the box felt like Christmas, oh wait, it almost is.
Favorites among the anticipated goodies include, but are not limited to: a slew of new cds to obsess over including some Sufjan Christmas tunes - oh yeah, cold weather gear - new fleeces and very cool legwarmers I might add, developed photos from a roll I left behind - what a treat- I had forgotten about most of the pics taken, a can opener that actually works - how I've longed for thee, and some new games and books - Canasta anyone? Topping the cool surprises: creme de methe baking chips, Peppermint Patties, dad's homemade jerky, and of course, gifts waiting to be open (some of them anyway).
Well, time to go bask once more in the goodness of it all, or at least put some of it away so I can get out the door for work in the morning.

the weekend to do:

weekend lessons: taught

winter clothes: unpacked and put to use - winter coat now essential for scooter driving - hat, gloves, scarf, and well - a car, wouldn't hurt either

dinner out: old favorite, new location. old roommate, new conversation. good times ensued.

gifts: a few given, a few purchased, a few sorted, and a few planned

finish holiday shopping: why do today what I can put off until tomorrow? - not necessarily words to live by

Christmas cards: now mistaken for living room floor tiles - must write and send

set up new printer: still packed ever so nice and neatly in unopened box since wednesday

home improvement tasks: weather stripping - bought awaiting installation; marry someone tall who likes to change light bulbs and in the meantime bring in ladder

water plants: does today's rain count? another reminder as to why I should not get a pet

make dish for Christmas potluck: sweet potatoes a roastin'

obsess over some new tunes: underway

decorate: tree box moved from cabinet to floor. baby steps.

clean house: looking more and more like a task for next week

clean room!!!: can a mess a year in the making be done away with in one weekend?

bake cookies: supplies replenished awaiting time/motivation

buy something festive for the season: poinsettia acquired

blog: done

an evening under the stars

I just got perhaps the coolest birthday party invite - cool because the party will consist of several of my favorite things: countryside, cool, fresh air, and stargazing. To celebrate his birthday, a friend has proposed the following opportunity to gather with friends. Leaving behind city lights (and hopefully clouds and pollution) we'll take an evening ride to a spot where we hope to observe a meteor shower expected to occur this evening. It has been too many winters since I've seen a meteor shower so I hope this evening's event does not disappoint. However, I suppose even if we do not get to see the stars fall from the heavens, the evening will still be worth it to take a break from the weekly routine and spend a evening with friends roaming the countryside.

beating them off with a stick . . . of bread

During a recent conversation, I enlightened my boss as to my tendency to acquire a park stalker, leading to the need to change jogging locations. The occurrences have been more annoying than menacing, though I think there may have been some scooter tampering once. My current location has been great - I've been jogging there happily for nearly a year. My boss found this all rather amusing and I think is now biding the time until the day I have an unwanted follower at my current spot.

Last night he was helping me give out the snack after the children's bible class that I run. During my quick trip to the store I also picked up one or two items for myself that remained in the bag with the snacks. Reaching in, my boss pulled out a bag of bread and the conversation flowed something like this:

B: I'm guessing these aren't for the kids.
Me: Nope, mine.
B: That's some serious bread. Oh, it's protection, right?
Me: Huh?
B: For running.
Me: What?
B: For the stalkers. Do you throw pieces at them or just swing the whole bag?
Me: Um, no. What are you talking about?
B: The bread! What do you use it for? That's serious bread!
Me: Eating?
B: You can eat that stuff?
Me: Um, yeah . . . for breakfast.
B: Bread that dense I though could only be used as a weapon.

Perhaps the funniest/strangest thing about the conversation is that my boss was completely serious throughout. And now, said bread, which apparently can not only be eaten but used to ward off attackers.

marking the day

Today is the day in my family's house known as the day I broke my mother's heart. It's otherwise known as my Taiwan anniversary. Today marks 4 years in Formosa and true to tradition, I again find myself wondering "What was I thinking?" Will there be a 5th? At this moment, I can safely say, only time will tell.


In other celebratory news, I recently received a box of cakes to commemorate the one month birthday of my boss's son. In Taiwan, several occasions are marked by gifts being given to friends and family - not just to the one with something to celebrate. For example, when a couple gets engaged, boxes of cookies are given out to relatives, friends, and acquaintances. For the one month birthday of a child, cakes are given. It's an interesting contrast from Western traditions.

misery welcomes company

I'm actually not miserable, not at the moment anyway. I had a fantastic weekend away with several friends. We ushered in the holiday season by attending a madrigal dinner - the second I've been to during my years in Taiwan. It's the closest my season comes to feeling like Christmas at home. For a few hours, I was not in Asia but a Renaissance castle with festive decor, song and show, and food, making this time of year a bit more merry.

The misery came into play later in the evening. No, I'm not talking about having to see Patrick Swayne's appearances in Havana Nights, though that was part of our post-madrigal evening. As the Christmas dinner took place in another city, some friends and I planned to spend the weekend at our friend's home in town. I shared a room with one of my old roommates and we were perhaps perfect company for one another. Between my random upright bolting coughing fits and her random attacks of vomiting, we were up about every hour or hour-and-a-half throughout the night. I think as much as we hated that someone else had to suffer through the presence of us sick, it was nice having someone there - someone to hand you a tissue or fetch a glass of water. Also, I'm sure the others were certainly glad they didn't get stuck sharing a room with either of us for the night. It was not the anticipated restful night that ensues when provided with a warm, comfy bed but it was not entirely awful either.

Sunday morning found us a little worn but still glad to be retreating at a friend's and out of our smog buried city. We rounded out the trip with a visit to McCafe before heading home. McCafe is a coffee shop/eatery within McDonald's. I was first exposed to one in New Zealand and let's just say, when the commercial came on, I thought it was a joke. But their existence has proved real in several countries I've been to this year, though I haven't heard of any in the States yet. The coffee drinks are decent and the food of a healthy variety, at least compared to the traditional McD's fare. It's just weird to be sitting in a McCafe within a McDonald's, a place I otherwise avoid.

you know it's been too long since you last cleaned your room when . . .

• you find an unopened Christmas card from last year

• you find an old job application and some old college catalogs - how these came to find me in this foreign land, i've yet to recall

• you find manuals for things you no longer own
  

• you find a prescription issued 2 months - i searched for weeks! every time i'm gone for a weekend, things seem to magically re-appear - it's those dang elves

• you find about $100 between envelopes from various occasions - sometimes it pays to clean

• you find expired gift certificates you didn't know you had

• you find lost addresses and phone numbers of people who have since moved several more times

well, this has been a real fun evening, but i think it's time to call it a night. be sure to tune in tomorrow when I go exploring in the deep, dark realm known as the back of the fridge to uncover things not intended to be long forgotten.

the ghost of one who knew me

to forget people
to not know them
to not know myself

to lose my freedom, my independence, my identity

When I was young, very young, and naive, very naive, I believed it would be so cool to live to be 100. I have long since changed my stance on aging. So much so that for awhile I've even had trouble picturing and planning for the future because perhaps I've secretly thought I'd not have a long one to face. I don't think I've ever known someone who died of old age. There always seems to be a tragedy waiting long before that time can arrive and I suppose I hold no great hope that my life should be any different.

I've seen people, people I've known slip from the strong, determined, opinionated, giving, caring person they were to a frail, weakened ghost of the person they had been. While it can have many names and faces, I've seen it most in the form of cancer. As I've mentioned previously, I've grown up loosing people I was close to and have come to accept and expect it as part of life. What I'm beginning to learn now is the pain of being with someone alive and yet dead to me.

While not biologically my real grandma, there is someone who is for all intents and purposes, my gram. She's someone who has known me since I was a few months old and has been a big part of my life ever since. She babysat me a lot when I was little and I loved it! I loved her. There was a time once when my dad was napping and I was probably bored so I called her and told her I was home alone (at like age 4 or 5) and she, in her late 70's, walked a mile uphill to our house to look after me, only to discover my dad had been there all along and yet, I don't think she minded. It was something we still joked about until a year or two ago.

She's been around for the milestones in life - birthdays, graduations, holidays - particularly Christmas. Perhaps that's why I'm missing her and who she was so much right now. I hardly have a Christmas memory that doesn't include her. It became a long standing tradition that she would sleep over Christmas Eve and be there with us Christmas morning to unwrap gifts in pajamas and snack on holiday goodies. She'd usually leave at meal time to join relatives but always returned in the evening to spend more time with us. We have family we're given and family we choose and it's nice to feel chosen. We also have a post-Christmas breakfast tradition that I think began because of her, starting small with one or two of us kids and eventually growing to include our whole family. Yeah, I miss her. I miss who she was - who she has been to me and to my family.

I now find myself mucking about in uncharted territory. It's uncomfortable and I'm squirming. You see, things have changed. If I have had any doubts, they were quickly laid to rest during my visit home this year. She knew I was coming home for a visit and yet, during all the time I spent with her, I don't think she knew who I was once. She was trapped somewhere a lifetime ago and I was just part of the delusion. On most of our encounters, she was 16 again and anxiously anticipating her sister's arrival home to hear about her first day at work. I was a guest at her family's home who had come for dinner. The irony of her seeing herself as a child is that it's how she now has to be treated - not with the respect that a person of her age and life experiences should be treated, but in a fragile, tender, childlike manner.

I teach and while I sometimes feel like I give performances for a living and my daily routine is largely impromptu speaking, it's different to suddenly be doing improv to someone's misconstrued reality. Her quick wit and our sarcastic banter will be no more. It's a hard reality to face that a relationship of 26 years is suddenly gone, yet that person is still very much alive and right in front of me. It's hard to be with someone who doesn't even know I'm there.

I'm good at shutting people out when it becomes too painful for me to know them, a folly I'm aware of. Too often I give little regard to what they're dealing with and how my absence/silence affects them. Instead, I shut down, detach, and throw myself into distractions. Sadly, it's what I know and what I far too often do. Here I am once again at the same crossroad. My instinct is to raise my guard, back out, and shut down before it gets any more difficult, but at the same time, she doesn't deserve that - not from me or anyone else who knew her well, even if she no longer knows us. It's hard. There's no hope to cling to that things will get better. There's only holding close and letting go.

A widow with no children of her own, she took to us and we to her. Though now 98 years old, I've always seen her as someone full of spunk and life. I've always admired her independence; she still lived on her own until about 2 years ago. Her unconditional love for my brother, perhaps for all of us, has always astounded me. She saw us kids at some of our best and worst moments and still decided that we were worth being a part of her life. Is she not still worth being a part of mine? When her hip was fractured, she lived with us. When her eyesight failed, we became her eyes, but when a mind slips, there's little that can be done but try to ease the passing of time, try to hold on to good thoughts and memories, remember what once was and fight reason to cherish what still is. Life will be over too fast and I'm not up for facing more haunting regrets. Reality: life is difficult. In the infamous words of a friend, I've got to "suck it up cupcake."

dance

Lately I've been in the mood for a little dancin', and my friend, on a dance movie kick. We're getting together for the weekend, so there's no telling what could happen. This morning it was requested that I remind another friend to bring along Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Definitely not on my list of movies I can't wait to watch again, though I did find it slightly better than the original Dirty Dancing - another movie I saw fit to only see once.

I can still recall the hype that surrounded that movie when it came out. Back then it was a big deal to have seen it, at least if you were a kid. Many parents forbade their young, impressionable daughters from watching, but then again, a lot of my friends' parents wouldn't let them see Goonies either. I, however, saw Dirty Dancing at a 3rd or 4th grade birthday party and it was the talk of the school for weeks. A friend's parent owned the town's video store so she could hook up birthday parties and sleepovers with practically any movie requested.

It was one of those movies that many girls loved still making it onto favorite movie lists everywhere. Patrick Swayze commanded a swoon factor for mothers and daughters alike, something I found more than a little disturbing. Shortly after the party, I confessed to my mom about watching it. I figured it would get back to her eventually and I wanted to clear my conscience. To my surprise, she didn't much care. I mean, she seemed to care that I told her about it but didn't seem concerned that I had seen it. Maybe she knew I was growing up and stuff like this was going to enter my world - one of those rare 'cool mom' moments for a kid. Come to think of it, she was cleaning her room at the time. Perhaps the furniture polish was getting to her and confusing her thoughts. I don't think I've watched it since, despite loving it so much the first time, but I have been to the place in Virginia where it was filmed - an experience I enjoyed far greater than watching the movie.

Rest assured, no dirty dancing is in store for the weekend ahead, but there are rumors of Thriller moves being performed. Kodak moments anticipated.

Today I
woke uncharacteristically early
filled the house with the smell of banana bread and clean laundry
found an old cd I missed
had all green lights on the commute to work - I pass through 18 so I consider it an anomaly
basked in the mixture of warm sun and cool air
found myself thinking it feels like winter at 75 degrees F
enjoyed my job
was rescued from city stench by new flowers in bloom
will probably fall asleep before I intend with a good book in hand
was made content in the small things the day has given me

for the English teachers

I enjoyed this too much not to share.

the can of worms is open

While I'm on a roll, here's my weirdness of the day. During my evening jog I started craving eel! Who craves eel?? Not just any eel but a particular dish from a favored Japanese restaurant. Still, weird. I blame the octopus balls (as in balls of octopus meat) that I ate mid-week. They must have opened the door for other random seafood hankerings. Also, every night this week I found it necessary to eat a pack of peanut M&M's during my dinner break in order to pull through my round of evening classes. Ultimately, I think it's a protein deficiency that bringing this on. As long as it's not seafood together with peanut M&M's that I'm desiring, I'm prepared to humor the cravings a bit longer, or at least until I have eel next weekend.

6 weird things about me

As though I've not provided sufficient examples already, I've been tagged to blog on the topic of 6 weird things about me. Despite protests, I've decided to concede. So here it goes, 6 weird things about me:

1. From as far back as I can remember, I've known I not only wanted to travel but spend some time living abroad. From childhood, my heart longed for something it didn't know, yet knew it couldn't live without. I've had an innate yearning to see the world. I even went through phases of trying to convince my parents to move to places such as Norway and I think Siberia.

2. I had this thing about considering non-conventional careers as a kid - President, commercial fisherman, and funeral director, just to name a few. Probably my most unusual though was my declaration that I was going to be a nun, especially considering I wasn't Catholic. However, as a young kid, I already saw life scripted - college, marriage, family - and I figured becoming a nun would be the most socially acceptable way to excuse my lack of desire for marriage and a family of my own.

3. A piece of my skull is chipped - Jr. high miniature golfing mishap.
Also on the subject of anatomy, I have crooked pinkies, but that one's hereditary.

4. In general, I hate drinking. It's like a chore. Plus, I think water tastes foul. Averting dehydration is a daily battle.

5. I've got sleep issues. First of all, I'm an insomniac. I love to be awake when the world sleeps and I'm most productive at night - it's when I'm at my best. When I do sleep, I average 5-6 hours of rest a night. The enigma, however, is that for as much as I hate retiring the day, I also hate parting with a cozy bed in the morning.

Additionally, and more amusing to others, is the fact that I've been known to talk in my sleep. I have a sibling who's also a sleep talker and our evening confabulations across the hall would amuse our parents.

Better still, however, are the phrases I come up with while in a semi-conscious state, such as when being startled awake or trying to fight off chemically induced drowsiness - anything that might make me drowsy, will. Things muttered all make sense in my head but my brain and mouth are no longer friends. It's frustrating because I can hear it all coming out wrong, yet I'm powerless to stop it or even know how to fix it.

Actual example: "I'm looking for the bubbles for the tank."
Translation: I can't find my retainer.

6. I didn't like foods that most kids enjoyed: pizza, spaghetti, mac & cheese, hot dogs, french fries, or fish sticks. I'd sometimes have to eat before going to birthday parties and friends' homes. They're still foods that I don't care for much.